90 Pounds Down!

So today I have officially lost 90lbs.  That's a small person!  (A very small person, but a small person at that!)  My energy level is amazing, and I'm feeling great!  I can eat just about anything I want, as long as its healthy.  Fried foods, sweets, and basic junk food make me feel bad.  Mainly just give me a headache and make me really tired, so I avoid them.  No biggie, they don't taste as good as they used to anyway.  And excuse my frankness, but after the way Cracker Barrell's Hash Brown Casserole treated my tummy the other day, I'm convinced that it now tastes like crap. LOL!

I'm working on my fall and winter wardrobe, and its so fun to be able to buy long sweaters to wear with leggings, and tall boots that will actually zip over my calves!  Oh, and I was out taking pictures of a High School Senior boy the other day, and two guys totally hit on me!  They kept making comments to the guy I was photographing like, "If I were you I'd be taking pictures of her!"  Now, I'm not saying I thrive on cheesy pickup lines, or that I even liked it.  But I am saying its been a long time since anyone besides my husband hit on me.  :)

Totally Blurry picture, but cute outfit!  

Today's Weight: 166 lbs

Total Lost: 90 lbs!

Wordless Wednesday!

Wow!

Ok, so I've only lost 1 lb since my last post.  (Ugh!)  But, my body is loosing inches, so that's awesome news!  (I'm hoping I'm gaining back some muscle mass, and loosing fat at the same time.  Hopefully.)  Overall I feel really good!  No more pain from the gallbladder!  I'm hoping it cools off soon so I can start walking/jogging in the evenings again.

Anyway, I have a before and after comparison picture for you!  Here it is!  The before is from December 2011.  The after is from Elliot's 2nd Birthday party on September 1st.

Today's Weight: 174

Total Loss: 82lbs

Picture Time!

Ok, Before I post the latest pictures, I thought I'd give an update as to where I am in my weight loss journey.  :)  Here goes!

I've plateaued.  Again.  Been sitting steady at 175 for a week now.  Damn plateaus!  

I went shopping for new jeans the other day.  I'm wearing a size 11 at Maurices, and a size 32 in Silver Jeans.  (Roughly an 11/12)  I haven't worn a size 12 since the 10th grade.  Yay!  

The sales lady at Maurices told me I have tiny legs.  (First time anything on my body has EVER been called tiny!)  

In shirts, I'm wearing Larges and some Mediums.

In dresses I'm wearing a 12

I constantly have people asking me if weight loss surgery is for them.  And yes Lynn, this section is for you!  (among other people)  I'm going to answer you with a series of questions.  If you can say yes to most of these questions, then weight loss surgery is definitely for you!

SO

Is your BMI into the Obese category?  (Above 32?)

Are you feeling sluggish and tired?

Does your weight prohibit you from doing activities that you want to do?

Are you ashamed of the way you look?

Is your weight causing health problems?

Are you willing to completely change the way you eat? (Especially if you see immediate results?)

Are you depressed? (Loosing weight dramatically helps depression symptoms!)

Are you ready to look good and feel good about yourself?

If you answered yes to most of the above questions, then weight loss surgery is definitely for you!  I would do it again tomorrow.  I honestly want to stop every obese person I see and tell them about it!  (I don't, because I realize some people are totally happy being overweight, and that's ok!)  But if you want to feel better, look better, have more energy, play with your kids,  and be crazy happy, DO IT!  If you health insurance doesn't cover it, start a savings account and pay out of pocket!  IT IS WORTH IT!

Today's weight: 175 lbs

Total Loss: 81 lbs

How its Going

Hi!  Well, I got past the big number drop!  The day of surgery (to have my gallbladder removed), which was last Friday, I stepped on the scale at the hospital and it said 179!  Eeek!  Then of course I had surgery, which went well, and gained about 5 lbs just of fluid and bloat.  Ugh.  But today I stepped on the scale and it was down to 178!  I'm so excited!!!!

Only 38 more pounds to go to my goal!  And next week, after my post op appointment, I start going to the gym.  I've signed up for a Power Up class, which is a lot like a boot camp class.  I need it.  I need someone in my face telling me I'm strong.  I need someone to yell at me.  I need someone to tell me I'm not working hard enough.  Because honestly, I'm not.  I need to work out.  I was doing really well until it got over 100 degrees around the 1st of July, and has stayed there ever since.  Even at 8 PM, its still around 94 degrees outside.  That's just too hot to walk or run for that matter.  So now, I'll go to the air conditioned gym, and hopefully the weight will come off quicker again.  :)

Today's Weight: 178
Total Loss: 78lbs

The Big Number Drop

So I've told a few of my friends lately that the numbers on the scale I hate the most end with 1 and 0.  Why?  Because they are the last two pounds before the big number drop.  I hated seeing 240.  I wanted to be in the 230s.  Then I hated seeing 231, because I was so ready to be in the 220s.  And so on.   And today, I'm at 180.  I had a goal to be in the 170s before our yearly family reunion/ AKA, Camp Meeting.  We leave next Wednesday.  I'm having my gall bladder removed tomorrow.  I hope it weighs at least a pound!  LOL!

But I'm so ready for the big number drop.  I'm ready to be in the 170s again.  (I was 17 the last time I saw 170)  For those of you who aren't good at math, that was 12 years ago.  (And good God, that math problem just made me feel really old!)  Hopefully, I'll wake up in the morning and the scale will say 179.  That way once they take the gallbladder out, the scale will be even more sweet to me.  :)

Speaking of sweet, my scale apparently has a sense of humor.  Its a digital scale.  Some days I will step on it and it gives me some absurd number.  Like yesterday, when it said 157.  Then I stepped off, stepped back on, and it said my true weight yesterday, 180.5.  It's like, "Here's a number to make you happy."  And then when I step back on its like the scale is saying, "Psych!  Try again next time!"  Stupid scale and its mind games!

Today's Weight: 180 lbs
Total Loss: 76 lbs

What's Up?

So, what's up with me lately?  Not much really.  OK, I guess there is a lot.

First things first, I'm sitting at 182lbs as of yesterday.  Weight loss is slow.  I'm not discouraged, but I do wish I was still loosing 5-8 lbs per week like I was at first.  But I guess my weight loss is normal, and maybe even accelerated, which brings its own set of challenges--more on that in a bit.

Next, I joined a gym!  I was going to get a personal trainer, but decided its just not in the budget at this time.  (It was going to be over $1200 for 5 months!  Gah!)  However, starting next week I'm planning on trying to at least go on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for a Power Up (bootcamp style) class.  I'm hoping that I can loose my last 42lbs quickly by building back some muscle and exercising.  Hopefully the class won't kill me.  And I'll be honest.  I haven't been in a gym since I was about 17.  So 12 years without stepping foot in a gym, and this wasn't Curves people.  This was a hardcore, body building, crossfit style people gym.  Nuts.  It was hella intimidating.  But I'm going to go back.  Because even if I don't look like the bodybuilders and fitness models that frequent that place, I am at least doing something other than sitting on the couch, or browsing Pinterest.

Now for the bad news.  Apparently, rapid weight loss can cause gallstones.  I kept getting weird pains in my right side, right below my ribcage.  I though I was just pulling muscles while exercising.  Wrong.   I went for an ultrasound, and my gallbladder is full of gallstones.  So, for the second time in less than 6 months, I will be going under the knife.  I have been assured that this procedure is much less painful than the gastric bypass, and its outpatient, so I'll get to go home the same day.  Hopefully I'll heal quickly, because we all know I don't have time to be down!

Lastly, I wanted to let everyone know that just 4 days after my gallbladder surgery, I'm planning on going to Jon's family's campground for a week.  Its kind of like a huge church camp for families.  Its awesome.  I'll be missing the first weekend due to my surgery, but dang it, I'm going for the second half of the week!  The camp is in the boondocks in southern Arkansas.  (Hollywood Arkansas actually.  Never heard of it?  Yeah, that's because the population is less than 40!  haha!)  Its actually been incorporated into the town of Arkadelphia. If you've heard of that and are thinking, "oh, that's not that far out" just remember, from the campground, we have to drive about 10 minutes before we can even get any cell phone reception.  Yeah, that's how far into the boonies we will be.  :)

As a parting gift to you, I'm posting a few pictures taken last week.  :)  Because I know you've all been loosing sleep at night wondering what I look like this week.  Bwahaha!

Today's Weight: 182 lbs

Total Loss: 74 lbs

WHAT???

I stepped on the scale this morning, and guess what I saw?  186!!!!!!  I distinctly remember weighing 188lbs when I graduated high school.  Which means I've not only lost 70lbs since Christmas, but I now weigh less than I did the day I graduated High School 11 years ago.

Sometimes I wish there were do-overs in life though.  Like my 10 year reunion that I skipped last year. I skipped the reunion partly because I went to high school with a bunch of overprivileged douche bags who I really didn't care to see again, but also because I was ashamed of how overweight I was.  Isn't that sad?  Now I wish I could go and show everyone how awesome I turned out.  (AKA, show off pictures of my kids and my good looking husband!)

I also wish I could re-do my wedding.  I really wish I could wear that beautiful Monique Lhullier dress that I wanted so badly, but didn't have the figure for.  Although my dress was beautiful, it was not my dream dress.  It was the dress that hid my fat the best, and flattered my unsightly figure the best.  And it was one of the only dresses that came in a size 22.

But, there are not do-overs.  Just lessons learned.  What's the lesson here?  If you are overweight, unhappy, and ashamed of yourself, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW!  YOU GAIN NOTHING BUT MORE WEIGHT BY WAITING!  I wish I had done this right after I graduated College and before Jon and I got married.  That way I could have worn that $5,000 dress and given my dad a heart attack when I asked him for his credit card.  And I could have gone to that reunion and been proud of myself and my accomplishments.

You know what though?  I am SO PROUD of myself.  I am currently talking to three people who are considering weight loss surgery.  I think that two of them are amazing candidates.  (One just is not ready for the lifestyle change, and I get that.  She'll get there eventually!)  I hope that by sharing my story, I can show the world that being overweight is nothing to be ashamed of.  And that doing something radical, like weight loss surgery, is nothing to be ashamed of either, and that it is NOT the easy way out.

You know me, changing the world one ass kicking at a time!  Lol!

Today's Weight: 186
Loss since Surgery: 63lbs
Total Loss: 70lbs

Picture Time

Pictures were requested by a friend yesterday, so I aim to please!  (Did you catch that 50 Shades of Grey Reference?  lol)

The Cover Up

I told you all yesterday that today I would talk about how all the extra weight I was carrying severely damaged my self esteem.  Well, here goes.

A year ago, my life was all a cover up.  Thoughts were constantly running through my head.  Thoughts like, "How can I blend in."  "What can I wear that doesn't make me look like I weigh 256lbs?"  "Does this make me look fat?  Oh yeah, of course it does.  Is there anything I own that makes me look less fat?"  and my personal favorite, "I can't do/wear that.  That's for skinny people."

At some point, I got so freaking tired of thinking those things.  It was downright exhausting!  And my ass hadn't even gotten off the couch!  LOL!  But really, mentally, it was taxing.  And I didn't want to live that way anymore.  So I went to an info session at Dr. Roller's office to check about lap band surgery.  I thought I needed to loose about 40 or 50 lbs.  Hahahaha!  I really had no idea how out of control my weight was.  And I was the SMALLEST person there!  So really, I was sure I didn't need the surgery.  But I went ahead and made an appointment with the Dr. to discuss options.

I was SHOCKED when Dr. Roller told me that I needed to loose about 110 lbs, and that I was a good candidate for full Roux en Y gastric bypass surgery.  Holy shit!  Was it really that bad?  Well, yes, it was.  I didn't have any health problems (or so I thought), I was active (or so I thought), and I was young.  Surely I wasn't that big!

Oh, but I was.  Now, I realize that I did have health problems.  My blood pressure was running around 128/78.  Now it runs 118/65.  My fasting blood sugars were around 128.  Now they are around 80.  And I was NOT active.  At least not compared to now!  Now I will run laps around my husband at our local theme park.  I'm pumped when I get there, and I'm not exhausted when we leave 6 hours later after riding every roller coaster in the park and walking about 5 miles.  And as far as the being young part goes, I feel 10 years younger now.  (And honestly, I look about 5 years younger)  Truthfully, I look 10 times better today than I did 6.5 years ago at my wedding.  I think I'm hot, and so does my husband.

I'm not covering anything up anymore.  Yes, I still have bumpy bits, and jiggles.  Yes, I have a bit of flabby excess skin.  But I'm NOT covering it up.  Now I'm not ready for a bikini yet, but I'm rocking my tankini this year.  (You know, besides the saggy boobs, but that's from breastfeeding 2 kids!)  And I'm wearing sleeveless shirts.  I haven't worn a sleeveless shirt since my Sophmore year of college.  And I'm not afraid to wear shorter shorts.  And dresses don't look like mumus on me anymore.  And I feel good about myself.

Once again, weight is not related to self worth.  I know a lot of bigger girls, who are beautiful, healthy, active, and who don't cover up.  They are beautiful, and they feel beautiful, and they rock their curves.  But I was not one of those girls.  I was so ashamed of myself.  Losing the weight has allowed me to let go of that shame, and be happy again.  And I FEEL great too.  Which really is the best part of all.

Atina

Jumpstart

Hi everybody!  I know, its been almost a month.  Sorry.  Today I'm at 188lbs.  That means I've lost 8 lbs over the last month.  That's nice, but I would like to be losing faster.  I'm going to call the Dr. here in just a bit to see if that's where I should be at this point, or if I should be losing faster.  At this point, I have 48lbs left to go to get to my goal.  If I keep losing at the rate I'm going now, that would mean 6 more months before I meet my goal, which would put me a year post op. Which I guess is what they said would be the point that I would likely stop losing, but still, I wanna be skinny now!

I'm going to try something over the next week.  I'm going to try to eat nothing but protein shakes or greek yogurt or cottage cheese for breakfast and lunch.  Then eat a small dinner.  Hopefully that will jumpstart the weight loss again.

Eating has been going pretty good lately.  Except for the BBQ Tri-Tip sandwich I tried to eat the other night from my favorite BBQ place.  That went horribly.  Imagine me, getting a nice, relaxing pedicure. Then having to try to tell the poor Filipino lady that I had to go puke, except she spoke no English.  Yeah, sweet!  Lol!

But other than that, things are going good.  We went to Shogun for Father's Day dinner last night.  I ate some salad, some soup, a few veggies, some steak, and a few bites of fried rice.  (Cause hey, what's the point if you don't at least get a few bites of the rice!)

On the exercise front:  I LOVE mowing the lawn!  Who knew?  So I've been push mowing the lawn once a week for a workout.  And I've been walking 1 mile about 3 days a week with a friend.  The kids love to go for walks, and I get a workout.  :)  I also tried the P90X 30 Day Ab Challenge.  FAIL!  That thing kicked my ass big time!  I got through 3 of 7 exercises, then I was so sore for 3 days that I could barely lift my legs!  (Again, the pedicure lady thought I was pathetic.  I couldn't lift my leg for her, and I was puking.  Awesome!)  But apparently I'm a sadist, because I'm going to try it again today.

On the appearance front, I had to go buy some new t shirts the other day.  I didn't have any that fit me!  Yay!  I'm wearing a large, almost medium T-shirt now.  And most of the clothes I'm buying are size 14 or a size large.  This makes me so happy!  I haven't been this thin since High School.  Hells yeah!  I got a haircut last week.  Its a little shorter than shoulder length, and my face doesn't look fat!  And My pedicure looks awesome too.  :)

Overall, life is good.  I feel great, I look great, and I'm super active compared to when I was fat.  Notice that?  When I was fat?  Yep, I no longer consider myself fat.  Could I stand to loose 40 more pounds?  Yes.  If I never loose that 40 lbs will I be unhappy?  YES!  Do I love myself more now than I did in January?  HECK YES!  Am I super proud of myself that I've lost 68lbs since Christmas?  You bet your ass I am!  Am I still a fat girl?  Absolutely not.  Is self worth related to weight?  No.  Hell no.  But for me, losing the weight has made me realize how unhappy I was.  More on that tomorrow.

Today's Weight: 188
Total Loss: 68 lbs

XOXO

ATINA

Plateaus Suck

The title describes it all.  I've been stuck at 195 since last Thursday.  Dang it.  I know, its not even been a full week, but usually I'll drop at least 1/2 lb every 3-4 days.  I guess my lazy self is gonna have to work out more.  (translated-work out.  Because working out has been walking 3-4 days a week.)

I found a slimming workout in a magazine that looks semi-doable.  None of that insanity shit.  That shit is for marathon runners and crazy people who have done long stints in the military or prison.  Not former fatties who have transformed into chubbies.  I think I would totally die.  So I'm going to work my way up.  I might try P90X if my wimpy little magazine exercise doesn't kill me.   The workout combines a little strength training with 30 minutes of cardio 6 days a week.  (just interval walking/jogging)

I tried running.  FAIL!  My shorts kept falling down because my gut was pushing them down, and my boobs (Which are still sitting pretty at a 38 DDD) almost gave me black eyes.  Not to mention the fact that I must have looked like Santa running for a cookie on Christmas Eve, and both kids were screaming because I was going way too fast.  (They were in the double jogging stroller.) LOL!

Also, the lawn needs to be mowed badly, so I thought I'd try to do Jon a favor and at least mow the front today while he's at work and Elliot is napping.  So there's a workout there too.  Dang, look at me go.  Suck it Jillian Michaels!  (I really don't like her by the way.  She's still the devil.  Nobody works out that hard for fun.  And if you do, sorry, but I need to introduce you to shopping and Jose Cuervo Margaritas and my kids.--not exactly in that order.  We'll at least wait until the kids are in bed before proving that Jose Cuervo is more fun than Jillian Michaels.)

Anyway, here are the stats:

Today's Weight:  195
Total Loss since surgery: 54lbs
Total Loss since Christmas: 61lbs

Just for Reference

Just for me, I needed to see the two pictures side by side.  Here goes:

November 2011

February 2012

Today, May 12, 2012

Stats and Pictures

Just thought I'd start with a few pictures, then list my current stats.  (I'm so proud of myself today!)

Now for the Stats:

Pant Size: 14
Shirt Size: L in T shirts, XL in more fitted shirts
Dress Size: 14-16 (usually 14)
Bra Size: 38 DDD (Yep, they still haven't gone down, but my band size is getting too large again, so I'm guessing soon this size will be 36 DDD--Good Lord!)

Today's Weight: 197
Total Lost Since Surgery: 52lbs
Total Lost Since Christmas: 59lbs

I DID IT!

So this post is technically a few days late.  I hit my goal of being under 200lbs on Friday, May 4th.  I'm still there, but then again, I didn't exactly follow my diet to a T while I was on my mini vacation.  However, I NO LONGER WIEGH OVER 200LBS!!!!!

I'm just giddy over here.  I'm hoping to be under 180 by August.  Thats my next goal.  And I can't wait!

2 More Pounds...

2 More pounds.  That's all.  I'm praying that I wake up tomorrow morning at 199.  I want so badly to break the 200 mark.  For me, its a personal goal that lifts a huge weight off my shoulders.  Literally!  I've been struggling with the 200lb mark since my freshman year of college.  That's 10.5 years of hating the number 200.  For all I care, 200 can suck it.  Cause I'm gonna see that number for a minimum of one more week.  After that, I'm NEVER seeing it again.  NEVER!

Eating is going better.  Although Chinese food is probably something I should wait a while to try again.  (Yeah, that wasn't a great idea!)  But I'm able to eat more meats, salads, and fruits.  And OMG, I used to hate raspberries, but I cannot get enough of them now.  Fresh raspberries.  Yum!

Oh, and my wedding rings no longer fit.  They were originally a size 7.  I had to have them sized up to a size 8 after Elliot was born.  I went to my uncle, who owns Swifts Jewelry, and he took them to resize them to a ---size 6.5!  That's crazy.  I am 20lbs lighter now than when I got married.  Heck, from when I got engaged!  I literally don't think I can wear my wedding dress anymore.  And not because its too small!  Yay!

The weight loss is slower now.  Its very strange.  I'll have a fat day, where I feel really big.  Then the scale will move one or two pounds, then a few days later I have a skinny day.  Like today.  So I took a picture.  :)  







































Today's Weight: 201
Total Loss: 48 lbs

Easter

We had a great Easter here!  The family and I loaded up on Thursday afternoon and made the trip to Little Rock to visit Jon's parents.  We had a blast!  I didn't get sick once, and we even got a night out.  We went out with friends to dinner at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant, and it was sooooo good!  I'm finding that seared Ahi Tuna is one of my favorite dishes.  It sits nicely, and tastes amazing.  I also had a few veggies, some miso soup, a few bites of rice, a shrimp, and a few bites of Jon's steak.  Heaven I tell you!  And I had an orange for dessert!  So good.  I wish we were rich and I could eat Japanese food every night!

Easter dinner was good too.  The ham didn't sit too well, but I did manage to eat some green beans, Hash Brown Casserole, a crescent roll, and some corn.  Overall, eating went well!

We mainly rested and played with the kids while we were there.  It was nice to get away and relax!  And I managed to loose a pound even over Easter.  Yay!

Today's weight: 208
Total Loss: 41lbs

HOLY COW!

Today I realized that I have lost  40lbs since surgery.  47 since Christmas.  That's a lot of weight guys!  I'm in a bit of shock.  I went through my closet and got rid of all the clothes that are too big for me.  It was a TON of stuff.  9 pair of jeans.  4 pair of slacks. over 75 shirts.  And that's just my closet.  I still have to go through my dresser.  (Most of that I'll be keeping though.  I can handle T shirts that are too big.  They're great for sleeping and painting in.)  My underwear is even getting big.  Not the bras, I've already had to buy new bras, and the new ones are starting to get big in the band again--but the panties.  You know you've lost weight when your panties are too big!

Its really surreal to have lost this much.  And I still have 70lbs left to go.  I never realized I had gotten so big.  Now I look at those clothes and think, "Wow, those are huge?  How did I fit into those?"  The worst part is, those clothes were starting to get tight on me too.  It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of me, because, well, it has. :)

Notice Elliot in the tub behind me?  

Today's Weight: 209
Total Loss: 40lbs

Picture Time!

Here's a picture from today!  Parker wanted in the photo too!


And just for reference, here's me 35lbs ago:

Still Trucking!

This week has been a little rough.  Its rained ALL WEEK LONG.  So exercising has been a challenge to say the least.  However, my neighbor owns a local gym, and she told me that I can go workout anytime I want, for FREE!  Yay!  She's out of town this week, so I probably shouldn't just waltz in there without her being there to set up my membership, but next week, its on!

I had my 6 week post op appointment this week.  (I'm really 7 weeks out)   Everything went well.  I'm losing like I should be, and my blood pressure is way down!  (It was never high, usually around 125/80, but at my appointment it was 100/70!)  So I'm guessing my body is getting healthier internally as well as externally.  Yay!

I feel a lot better.  I can now buy almost anything I want in the regular sized section of the store.  No more plus sizes for me!  Yay!  I was wearing XXL T shirts before, and now XL tees are getting big on me.  I'm sure that in your basic Hanes Tee, I'll be wearing a Large in the next few weeks.  Also, I've gone from a size 20 jean, to a size 16, and the same with dresses.  :)

Overall, all is well.  I'm able to eat more, and I don't feel miserable after every single meal now.

Today's weight: 214
Total Loss: 35lbs

OOPS!

Holy Cow!  I didn't realize its been 2 weeks since I last blogged.  Sorry!  March has been a crazy busy month for me.  Elliot was sick, and I've been booking photo sessions, and well, I've been outside playing with the kids in this beautiful weather.  Which was the main reason I wanted to have surgery.  Basically, I was so big that I had a ton of insulation, and if it got over 70 degrees I was one big sweaty mess outside.  And I couldn't move enough to enjoy playing with the kids.  Sad.  I know.

Anyway, yesterday Parker and I made a ton of drawings on the driveway with Sidewalk Chalk while Elliot napped.  Then last night after dinner, when Parker crashed out early, Jon and Elliot and I went out back and played in the back yard.  It was so nice!

I bought a barely used jogging stroller from a friend last week, and I'm going to load the kiddos up here in a few minutes, and go for a morning jog.  It sounds like fun.  Our weather has been so nice for March.  Highs in the mid to upper 70s, and lows in the mid 50s.  The trees are starting to bloom, and the tulips are popping up.  Yay!

Anyway, I'll get to the good stuff.  No pictures today, because I'm in workout gear without a bra at the moment, but I'll try to get some by the end of this week.  And yes, I've lost more weight.  And even more in inches.  Lots of people are noticing now.  I'm noticing.  My stomach isn't as big.  My pants don't fit.  I've gone down 2 pant sizes, and 2 dress sizes.  I can buy all my clothes at Old Navy now, without having to order from the plus size section.  :)  That is so refreshing.  I haven't ventured to many other stores yet.  The kids have been nuts lately, so I'm not into taking them.  I'm thinking I'll try to get to the mall when my mom visits next week for Spring Break.

I promise to post more!

Today's Weight: 218
Total Loss: 31lbs!

Spaghetti Squash, and new Bras!

OK, so I know the title is a little crazy, but hey, I wanted to tell you about both in one post!

So the other night I made a dinner that Jon and the kids LOVED, and I could eat a lot of it too!  It was soooo good, and almost vegetarian!  We have discovered Spaghetti Squash folks!  All I did was cut 3 small spaghetti Squash in half lengthwise.  I scooped out the seeds like you would a pumpkin, and then brushed the insides with olive oil and sprinkled a little salt on them.  Then I stuck them on a cookie sheet and baked them for one hour at 400 degrees.  Then I let them cool, and shredded the squash with a fork to form spaghetti "noodles".

Now for the actual Recipe!

1 tub 1/3 less fat Philly Cooking Cream (Any flavor you like--I used the garlic and herb)
spaghetti Squash
1-2 chicken breasts
Emeril's Bam Seasoning
Olive Oil
1 cup Frozen Mixed Veggies

OK, First, sprinkle some Bam seasoning on your chicken breast(s).  Then heat about 3 TBSP of olive oil over medium high heat in a medium skillet.  Add the chicken breasts, and cook on both sides until juices run clear.  Set the chicken aside.  Reduce the heat in your pan to medium. Now, add the veggies to the pan that you cooked the chicken in.  Let them cook until they aren't frozen anymore, and start to get pretty warm.  Then add your philly Cooking Cream to the pan.  Stir it around until the cream melts and coats the veggies nicely.  Go ahead and reduce the heat to low once the cream gets hot.  Shred those chicken breasts, and add the chicken and the spaghetti squash to the pan.  Toss with tongs to coat.  So yummy!

I wish I was all fancy like the Pioneer Woman, and had a picture, but my family wolfed it down so fast, I didn't get any pictures!


OK, on to the good news!  I had to go bra shopping yesterday.  My bras had gotten too big in the band.  Yay!  But my boobs didn't shrink any, so Now I'm starting to look very Dolly Parton-esque.  Oh well.  While I was there, I found a dress that looked great on me too!  (I used to never wear dresses, because, well, when you're as big around as you are tall, all dresses just end up looking like mumus.)  I was so excited!  Then today, I noticed that since going down a size in jeans, these jeans are super baggy in the butt.  So I went to Old Navy this morning and bought a size 16 jean!  (I started this journey in a very tight size 20.)  This is great news!  And, for the first time in forever, I found 3 shirts there that fit.  I've been having to order the plus size clothes online for almost a year now, and now I can fit into the clothes right off the rack at the store!  I think Jon might go broke now that I can drive to the mall and buy clothes and feel good in what I'm wearing!  (And yes, I'm using a ton of exclamation marks, but this is exciting stuff people!)

So anyway, I'm feeling good, and I'm getting smaller.  Woohoo!

Today's Weight: 226
Total Loss: 23 pounds!

Picture Time!

Although I haven't lost a lot of weight over the last week, I've been going down size wise.  I had to go down a size in jeans, and even they are big on me at the end of the day.  (YAY!)  I plateaued for about a week, but yesterday the scale went down a pound, and today it went down another pound!  I thought it was time for a few pictures!  (By the way, I could not wear this shirt last week.  Eeek!)

Today's Weight: 227

Total Loss: 22 lbs!

So Frustrated!

I'm very Frustrated today.  The last time I posted was last Thursday.  Friday I lost 2 more lbs, for a weight of 231.  Where I've been stuck ever since.  I swear, if this is all the weight I'm gonna loose, I want my stomach put back the way it was so I can stop eating all the damn time and just have a freaking piece of cake!  I'm angry, and I still feel fat, and I just want to cry.  This sucks.  For the past 3 days I've been feeling like this is such a mistake.  Everyone who has had the surgery keeps telling me its not, but they've all lost over 100 lbs.  I've lost a measly 18.  And the only thing I can tell is my jeans aren't as tight.  I haven't even gone down a size.  And I really want a piece of toast or a grilled cheese sandwich, but no, I can't eat bread anymore.  Or anything dense really.  Ugh.

2 Week Post-Op!

I had my post-op appointment today!  The Dr. said I'm healing really well, and that I can lift the kids again and begin exercising.  And, I can eat!  Although I learned quickly its not much!  I came home and made myself an egg with some low fat cheddar cheese.  I got about 3/4 of it down, and that's all I could hold.  Then I went to Wal-Mart and spent an insane amount of money on all new food.  Healthy food.  Like Greek Yogurt, Cottage Cheese, Chickpeas, tuna, mahi mahi, chicken, and some veggies.  I still can't have fibrous foods like stringy veggies, veggie skins, and I can't have tough meats like steak or pork or even dry chicken.  If I do eat chicken, it should probably be cooked in the crock pot so its super moist.

After Grocery shopping, I made a mistake.  I went to Subway and got some Tuna on flatbread.  It was so good.  You know, the two bites I got down.  But apparently even the flatbread expanded too much in my tiny stomach, and 5 minutes after taking those two bites, they came right back up.  So I waited about 30 minutes, and had some greek yogurt.  I was full on less than 1/2 cup.  I think getting my protein in is going to be a challenge.  But, I like the yogurt, and If I can get at least 1 cup per day in I've gotten in 44 grams of protein, and my goal for the entire day is 60 or more.  So hopefully I can eat enough to get it all in.  If not, I'll check out those protein shots they have at GNC and Wal-Mart, because I can't possibly drink another protein drink.  EVER!

Today's Weight: 233

Total Loss: 16 lbs!

ONE MORE DAY!!!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

ONE MORE DAY UNTIL I CAN EAT AGAIN!!!!  Can you tell I'm excited?

This Valentine's Day is very different from Valentine's Days past.  In the past, Jon and I have always gotten a sitter and gone out to either a nice dinner, or to our Trusty Valentine's Day place where the service and food are always good--The Catfish Hole.  And Jon always has chocolates for me and I always have chocolate covered strawberries for him.  And we always get Dessert.  This year is different.  No food for me today, so while his grandparents are here to watch the kiddos, Jon and I are going to go to the mall and walk around, shop a little, and he'll grab a healthy dinner from the food court while I sip on some unsweet tea.

Its hard to find things to do that don't involve food.  What are some of your ideas for dates that don't involve eating?

Today's Weight: 233.5
Total Loss: 15.5 lbs

Hanging in There

The title of this post says it all.  I'm just hanging in there today.  I have a lot of energy, and I've done a lot of cleaning around the house today while Parker was at school and Elliot was napping.  I cleaned my oven, dusted the house, and vacuumed the living room, then swept the kitchen floor.  Then I ran out of steam so the rest remains un-done!

The protein shakes are so nasty at this point.  I seriously think I might gag every time I try to drink one.  Now really, they're probably not that bad.  But when you've had the same thing four times a day for almost 2 straight weeks, you can't help but gag at the thought of drinking another one.  I have learned that variety, is indeed, the spice of life.  And with only 3 flavors, Vanilla, Chocolate, and Chicken Soup-which can't be made hot because it curdles- coupled with the fact that I cannot stomach the Vanilla flavor, variety is at a bare minimum.

I've already planned my first meal.  I'm going to have Pizza!  Healthy pizza that is.  (But I'm still psyched about it!)  I'm planning on making it on whole wheat flatbread with roasted garlic, marinara, Mozzarella, Green Peppers, and Turkey Pepperoni.  Maybe even some mushrooms.  And I will be eating it piping hot because I miss hot food!  (These shakes are cold, and on a snowy day like today, they just aren't hitting the spot.)  And for dessert, I'm going to make Chocolate Covered Katie's sugar free, high protein, gluten free Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.  And I'm gonna be stingy and not share any with my family.  I'm sure I won't have to!  After I tell them that its made out of Garbanzo Beans (Chickpeas!)  Basically its sweetened hummus with Chocolate chips!

Other high protein foods I've got on my grocery list are Cottage Cheese, Greek Yogurt, Sugar Free Preserves, Mahi Mahi, Chicken, Tuna, Cucumbers, and lots of fresh herbs.  I can make Greek Yogurt into a dip for Whole Wheat Club crackers by adding Ranch Powder or a packet of Onion Soup Mix.  And I can make it into Tzatziki sauce to have with whole wheat pita bread too.  Who knew?  Protein in dip!  Pretty much you can substitute plain greek yogurt in any recipe that calls for sour cream.  Bam!  Instant protein boost with the same flavor and texture!

I know that most of my food cravings are "head hunger".  Pretty much I just want food, but I'm not really hungry.  Except for the last few days, after I've drank all my protein and water, I will feel hungry around 8 or 9 PM.  Real hunger.  Not starving, but I wish I could at least have a few crackers or something.  I'm still counting down the days until Thursday!  Post-op appointment is scheduled for 8 AM!

Down another 1.5 lbs this morning!

Today's weight: 234.5
Total Loss: 14.5 lbs!  (I can't wait for that number to be 30, then 40, then 75, then 100!)


P.S.  To my friend Bree~  I plan on taking pictures at my 2 week appointment, when I've actually done my hair and makeup and put on a decent outfit!

Getting There...

Hey everybody!  Not a lot to report really!  I'm feeling more energetic every day though.  And people keep telling me I look thinner, so who knows, maybe I do.

I discovered something awesome today!  Extra Sugar Free Apple Pie Gum.  It tastes just like a slice of cinnamon-y apple pie!  And no calories and sugar free!

Today I took Parker to his friend's 4th Birthday party.  He had a great time, and it felt nice to get out of the house independently again.  Yesterday my Mother In Law and I took the kids to the mall so I could walk, they could eat lunch at Chik-fil-A, and we could all do a little shopping.  I found some great deals on clothes that were too small for me, and I bought them anyway!  And I found an cute Green Handbag (Notice I didn't call it a purse Bry?).  I also found a cute new dress and a pair of white patent shoes for Elliot for spring to wear with her dresses.

I'm going to attempt to go to church tomorrow.  I really want to go out to eat afterwards.  I miss restaurants.  I miss mexican food a LOT.  And pizza.  Oh hell, I miss food.  And I called the Dr. on Thursday, and they informed me that although the last day of my 2 weeks of liquid diet is up on the 14th, and technically I should be able to eat on the 15th, they don't want me to eat until my post-op appointment on the 15th.  And no, they can't schedule my appointment on the 15th, because the Dr. is in surgery all day.  (Don't worry, it was the first thing I asked!)  That sucks.  Plain and simple.  I wanted to throw the phone.  I still want to throw the phone.  I want a freaking cookie!

The worst part is, I have actually felt hungry a few times over the past few days.  I feel kind of hungry now.  I've had all my protein for the day and my water, and I still feel a little hungry.  Not starving, but hungry enough to eat one slice of pizza or a section of a yummy quesadilla.  I guess the old saying stands true.  I'm up a creek without a paddle!

Today's Weight: 236 (loss of 2 more pounds for a total loss of 13 pounds!)

5 More Days!

So I was looking at the calendar this afternoon and noticed that I only have 5 more days of liquid diet after today.  I'm so excited to get to eat again.  Not because I need food, but because I want to chew, and I want to spend time at the table with my family again.  That's our main source of family time.  We always sit down as a family for dinner, every night, at the kitchen table.  We don't eat in the living room, or as we come and go, we make the time to spend with each other.

Because of me missing family time, I'm missing time with Jon.  That's typically when we talk about how our days went and get in our quality time.  I miss him, even though he's here every night.  I wish it was warmer out.  We would totally take advantage of his mom being here and go for a walk.  Tomorrow night we have a hot date at H&R Block!  Maybe we can get some good couple time in then!  I guess we could possibly try to go to a movie sometime soon.  That doesn't involve food.

Which brings me to my next subject.  Now I'm not much for hiking or camping, or any of that stuff, but what are some of your ideas for dates that don't involve food.  All we ever do is go to dinner or go out to dinner with other couples.  We live in a city with a small town feel, which means there's not a ton to do besides eat.  No real museums that would really interest us, and no zoo or aquarium.  Any ideas?

Today's Weight:  238--still no loss.  How frustrating!

Tuesday

Hey everybody!  I took a day off yesterday because I was a little discouraged.  After seeing the scale go down every day, yesterday it just stayed the same.  And today it only went down 1/2 a pound.  Not sure what's going on there, but I'm sure it will go down again.  I don't see how it can't.

I called my Dr. yesterday and they said I can eat V8 juice, beef and chicken broth, and tomato soup, so that's good.  I still have to drink the protein shakes though, and they just taste horrible.  The taste wasn't so bad at first, but now that its all I have I'm starting to hate them.  You know how it is.  I love tacos, but if I ate them for every meal, for 2 weeks straight, I might never want to see a taco again!  That's where I am now.  Just the thought of drinking 16 ounces of it a day makes me want to vomit.  Ugh.

In other news, my pants are fitting much better.  I put my jeans on for the first time yesterday, and they were almost loose on me!  I'll try to take a picture later today after I actually fix my hair and makeup.  I'll show you guys fat pictures, but this Southern woman will not let anyone take a picture of her without makeup or her hair fixed unless she just gave birth!  (Although I might go to Wal-Mart without makeup or my hair perfect because, lets face it, its Wal-Mart.)

Today I'm going to venture out of the house and try to go get some Valentines for Parker's Valentine's day Party at School.  He has one on Thursday and one on Monday.  And we need to get a gift for a special friend of his who is turning 4 tomorrow!  (He can't wait for her party on Saturday!)

I guess I better get going while Elliot is down for her nap and get my face on and this mop of hair dried and fixed!

Today's weight: 237.5

360 Calories

Hey Everybody!  Although the liquid diet is not getting any easier, I'm in pretty good spirits today.  I got a visit from my AMAZING friend Lisa!  We had a great time just talking and watching TV for a while while her daughter and Parker played.  She's awesome!

Lisa's visit encouraged me to actually get a shower and fix my hair and makeup.  I'm not sure why, I know she wouldn't have cared, but it felt important to at least take the shower!  Before my shower I stepped on the scale and was shocked.  6 lbs lost overnight.  Holy Cow!  It took me 3 months to loose 6 lbs pre surgery.  So it got me thinking, how is that possible?  I started researching.

I am supposed to be drinking at least 16 ounces of protein drink per day, plus 48 ounces of water, or sugar free clear liquid such as Crystal Light, Decaf Tea, Sugar Free Gatorade, etc.  That doesn't sound like much, but trust me, its really all I can hold right now.  Yesterday I drank 52 ounces, but I was so full.  Anyway, I started looking at the nutrition info on the protein shakes.  An 8 ounce serving, with skim milk has 180 Calories.  Multiply that times two, and there you have it.  360 Calories per Day.  That's what I'm living off of until February 15th.

10 more Days to go until I can have cheese!  Or 7 layer dip, made with Fat Free Refried Beans, Fat Free Sour Cream (Or maybe Greek Yogurt to add some protein!) and reduced fat cheese.  I'm gonna have it with some Reduced Fat Ritz Crackers.  And then I'm gonna go to Subway and get one of those $5 foot longs and make it last all week.  (I've been craving Tuna salad so bad!  I want it on Flatbread with Green Bell Peppers and Banana Peppers!  I know, it sounds gross, but I assure you, its good.  I discovered this combo while pregnant with Parker.)

Can you tell I'm craving food?  I'm not hungry, I just miss eating.  So sad, but so true!

Anyway, that's all I've got for today!

Today's Weight: 238
Total Loss: 11 lbs!

Dear Debbie Downer

I'd like to preface this post by saying that this is not directed towards anyone in particular.  And I by no means mean to hurt anyone's feelings.  This was not spurred by events of today only, but by events over my last 6 months.  I know that all of you are trying to help me in my journey, and trying to encourage me along.  But I need to get this off my chest.   For my family and Friends to see, and keep in mind.  Because I just can't take it anymore.

Nothing about your horror story of bariatric surgery from your friend/ aunt/ great-uncle's cousin's brother-in-law's sister's wife helps me.  I've heard numerous horror stories over the last 6 months.  At times I wish I hadn't told anyone that I was going to have the surgery.  I am well aware of the risks and lifelong changes that accompany bariatric surgery.  I know I might never get to eat certain foods again.  I know some people have complications.  I know some people die.  (I'm not dead yet, so I'm guessing I jumped that hurdle! :) )

It really doesn't help me to know that so and so who had surgery last year can't eat ice cream.  Or that so and so went to Mexico to have surgery (I'm assuming because said person is an idiot and thinks Mexico actually has a Medical Board worth writing home about) and now has a horrible hernia and can only eat bean soup and water.  (I'm willing to bet that person is no longer overweight though!)

I appreciate the concern that I get from each and every one of my friends, but I really don't need another article telling me to eat with a baby spoon from a child's plate.  Right now I can't eat at all, so although I love you, your mention of food makes me want to eat you alive!

And Surgery is not something I'm considering anymore.  Its done.  Over.  End of story.  I can't go back and change it now.  And I'm glad.  Because even if I can't eat ice cream ever again, I'll probably be able to eat sugar free frozen yogurt (which I like better anyway) and at least I will be able to bend over and tie my shoes without losing my breath.

I understand that I am VERY irritable right now.  I've been told that that will pass as soon as I'm allowed to eat solid foods again.  Or maybe after I eat the next person who hasn't gone through surgery themselves, but calls to offer some advice. :)

Today I'm down another 2 lbs, for a total loss of 7 lbs!  Yay!

Rough Day

Today is rough.  I'm tired, and dizzy.  I fell ok other than that.  Not much pain at all.  But my kids are driving me up the wall.  I want to hide from them right now because if I hear one more whine I might snap.  Ugh.

Down 5 lbs total today for a weight of 244.

The Start of My Journey!

A friend told me I should start a blog about my weight loss journey with Bariatric Surgery.  On January 31st, 2012, I underwent a full Roux En Y Gastric Bypass surgery.  This blog will sometimes be happy, sometimes sad, and sometimes a place for me to vent my frustrations.  But it's real, and I'm not holding back.

Here's the most recent photo of me at my heaviest weight ever.  This picture almost made me hyperventilate when I saw it.  I look huge.  My gut is hanging over my jeans, and I look bigger than my husband.  Which is never acceptable.  Never.

I started my journey 6 months ago at 255 lbs.  On the day of surgery, I weighed in at 249 lbs.  Today is February 2nd.  I am two days past surgery and feeling pretty good considering.  I had a bad episode last night with nausea and pain.  I have been on top of taking my pain medicine and anti-nausea meds today and have felt much better.

The most frustrating thing about today is that although I'm not hungry, I want to eat.  I want to taste food and chew.  But I'm stuck on this stupid Liquid Diet.  Uggh.  Not fun.  But the truth is that I put myself in this situation.  It was my chewing and tasting that got me to the point that I needed the surgery.  So I'm going to suck it up and deal.  For two weeks.  No food, just liquids and protein shakes.  Yum.  Even healthy foods look amazing to me right now.  I saw a recipe for roasted Brussels Sprouts on Pinterest and immediately started drooling.  How sad.